Falling In Love.

Falling in love.... it's great. There is no better feeling in the world right....?

In real life there are a lot better feelings than realizing you are in love with someone... who you shouldn't be in love with. I mean seriously... that moment that you realize that you have fallen for someone that either will never feel the same way, or you shouldn't feel that way for, or is someone that irritates you almost as much as you feel for them... well in that moment you would probably be happier enjoying a bowl of ice cream or the first bite of homemade fried chicken. Because food makes you feel better than the impending doom/love that you feel for that person.

Love is a funny thing. Too often we confuse love with lust.... and even more often than that we confuse love with being compliant. It would be so easy if there was a test you could take to tell you if you really were in love... or if it was just a false positive.

My first love was a boy I grew up with that broke my heart. I loved him because he was beautiful and he said nice things to me.

My second love was a boy that promised me that he would love me forever. He became a part of my family and my family loved him and so... I loved him.

My third love.... was my ex-husband. He wanted to love me, and so I loved him.

Each one of these people I wanted something from. I wanted love, I wanted to be needed, I wanted someone to realize that I existed, and I wanted someone to just.... be there.

My fourth love... well let's just say I was jaded, and when he told me that he loved me for the first time I almost attempted to jump from a moving car. Just so I could run away from anything that had the L word in it.

Love is supposed to be this amazing thing that brings two people together and makes them whole. Unfortunately that isn't always the case.

It'd be amazing if all love stories started with we met in a crowded room, our eyes met, and we just knew.....
In reality there is no way to know how you feel without time. Time and a LOT of work.

In real life... love is more like you meet somone, and then one day you look at the person and realize that you love them. You might not have been looking for it, you may not want it, but eventually you can't fight it.